BARTENDING SCHOOL

The Background.

I get bored easily. I am also amused easily, so I suppose it evens out in the end. These characteristics result in some interesting credentials, such as an email that says I am an ordained Reverend, a PhD in counselor education, and...the completion of bartending school.

The Story.

Beading class

Moving to Wooster, OH was a bit of an adjustment for me. I used to describe my hometown as a small midwestern Mennonite community. Then I moved to Wooster....which is a tiny midwestern Mennonite community. I immediately began to travel for my job as soon as we moved, so I was experiencing fun cities like Denver, Orlando, and Minneapolis (ha!) and then would return to Wooster to my lovely sun room office. My career is largely online, which makes it a little more challenging to meet people, especially in a small community where I am an outsider. I didn't have natural connections in the community and I grew bored in the winter months. I took a bread class, a pottery wheel class, two tea classes, a few classes on beading pearls and (hold the laughter) a floral arranging class. I ran out of classes.

Blooming Tea from tea class

I was introduced to Groupon and Living Social. My world expanded exponentially. I suddenly had access to information about magical, far away places like Akron, Columbus, and Cleveland. Maybe a bit too much drama there, but these two websites did increase my view about the community in which I live.

Namely, it provided me with bartending school. Through Groupon I was able to attend a 5 day course for half price at the ABC bartending school. I pricelined a cheap hotel and stayed in Columbus for 5 nights to learn how to tend bar. Yes. I got a hotel room for 5 days to learn how to mix drinks.

Bread baking class

There are so many stories I could tell you about this experience. I could tell you about how I was 5 hours early to bar tending school. I could tell you about the interesting personalities who take classes on mixology. Or I could tell you about the Ohio video we were required to watch from 1970, or the woman who taught us who still contacts me about bar tending jobs because she thinks that I would make a great barkeep despite the fact that I didn't take the test at the end of the class. She is persistant.

Floral arranging class

I enter all learning experiences with a goal. I am open to knowledge of all sorts, but I set out with a specific goal. In bartending my goal was to be able to order a drink.You see, when a waitress asks for my drink order, I freeze up. It makes no sense at all. My brain shuts off and all I can manage to squeak out is "what's on tap?" so that I am presented with a multiple choice list.

I didn't really want to know how to make the drinks, I just wanted to learn how to order them. Yes. You read that correctly. I took a 5 day class to learn how to order a drink. It turns out that there is a lot of time for practicing mixology at bartending school. So I spent my time "ordering drinks" from the students who were practicing and and making index cards with recipes on them while they were mixing my drinks (errr...colored water). Since these were students they took a long time mixing, and as a result I ended up making a lot of recipe cards. I had to buy a second set of 100 index cards.

The result? Now I carry 3x5 cards in the car so that I have drink ideas. Sometimes I carry the cards into the restaurant.

Bartending class

But good news! I have a new favorite drink (the Malibu mojito below) and we even came up with one in class that we were proud of (OK - the military man came up with it, but I was the one who added the graham cracker rim and told him he could use it as a pick up drink for pretty ladies).

I am also including a "recipe" for another mojito that I got a bit "creative" about. I recognize I just added one ingredient, but it means that I am getting more confident. That is exactly what I wanted.

The Recipes.

Made with chocolate mint! 

Malibu Mojito 

* Muddle 6-8 mint leaves with 
* 1T sugar
* Add just of one lime and mix
* Fill glass with ice
* Add 3 oz Parrot Bay (or Malibu....) 
* Top off with 2-3 oz of Sprite or 7-up. 

Smore'tini

* Chill martini glass

* mix 1.5 oz Godiva white chocolate liquer, 

* 1 oz vodka, and 

* 2.5 oz half and half in shaker with ice. 

* Shake. 

* Rim the martini glass with chocolate syrup, then

* rim the syrup with graham cracker crumbs

* Strain liquid into glass. 

Mio Mojito 

* Add a squire of fruit punch of berry pomegranate Mio into a Malibu mojito. 

The Process. 

These are drinks that I have tried as a result of the class and my index cards. Quite a number of these were tried at Samantha's graduation party where her elder female relatives were impressed with the drinks. They enjoyed my 3x5 cards and kept passing my drinks around. I had to keep ordering more as my drinks kept disappearing into the fists of aunties and step mothers. Those with an * are among my favorites. The Malibu mojito and gimlet are my favorites right now. 

• *7&7
• Rum and coke
• Old Fashioned
• Bloody Maria (Bloody Mary with tequila instead of vodka)
• Red Snapper (Bloody Mary with gin instead of vodka)
• Greyhound
• *Salty Dog
• Harvey Wallbanger
• Tequila Sunrise
• Sea Breeze
• Bay Breeze
• Sex on the Beach
• Slow Screw
• Tootsi Roll
• Banshee/Gorilla Fart/Gorilla Tit
• Pink Squirrel
• B&B
• French Connection
• Dirty Mother
• **Gimlet
• *Vodka Gimlet
• Rootbeer Float
• Long Island Iced Tea
• *Mojito
• **Malibu Mojito

The Future.

Pretty sure this is obvious: keep trying new drinks. As you can see from the list above, I have avoided the martinis and cream based drinks. It seems like I should make a move. :) 








Unrelated side note: I am having terrible difficulty with the spacing in my posts. I left my last blog for a similar reason. The spacing does not have to do with the pictures (e.g. there are no pictures under the "The Process section, yet it is double spaced). Google searches have not been helpful. If you know of any solutions please let me know. 

SUNDAY NIGHT SPECIAL

I didn't alter this. It looks this good naturally. 

The Background.

Every Sunday night since I was a kid we had the same supper. This summer I am breaking tradition. 

The Story.

When I was growing up we ate popcorn for supper every Sunday night. 

Mom rocks the red hat with the
"Red Hot School Belles" for her b-day

My mom was a middle school school teacher for 39 years before she retired a little less than ten years ago. She was an exceptional teacher. I recognize that am biased in my belief, yet former students from 40 years ago still stop her in the grocery store and talk about the lectures she gave them as 8th graders. It probably helps that she lectured about the Donner Party, read from Sinclair's The Jungle and reviewed how hot dogs were made in the 40s. The former students who stop her usually have their own children and many of them have children that were also taught by my mother. My mother often remembers their names and always remembers their smiles. 
   
Mom often stayed at school until 6pm or so. Although she was a school teacher and could be at home when I returned home after school I was a "latch-key kid" because she stayed late readying her classroom and lesson plans. Mom placed a hold on her professional life around 6p, picked me up at latch-key, then began supper. Most meals included beef and a potato but we also entertained pasta and rice. Although mom did not highlight vegetables in our meals, she did a great job of ensuring that we sat at the dinner table to eat together every weeknight. I remember a friend of mine exclaiming that we were likely one of the few American families to still honor this tradition. After cleaning up the dishes mom would resume her professional life and settle down to grade in front of the TV. 

Mom often went to school on Sundays to change bulletin boards for the topic of the week and generally prepare the classroom. After returning home from her unpaid work she hunkered down to try and retain any possible energy that she had remaining from the "weekend off" so that she would be re-energized to teach cranky 8th graders on Monday morning. 
   
I am confident that Sunday night popcorn night was created out of my mother's sheer exhaustion. 

 So midwestern we make Finland look like Indiana. 

Every Sunday night mom would get out three large bowls (one for mom, dad, and I) a medium sized pot, oil, salt, and Yoder's tiny tender popcorn (the popcorn cannot be emphasized enough. Tiny Tender is...well...tiny and tender and does not have hulls). Mom would place oil in the pan, and while it was heating up she would microwave butter until it liquified. When the oil was hot mom salted the oil heavily, added the kernels, and vigorously shook the pan until the popping stopped. She added so many kernels that she had to carefully dump the popped corn out into one of the bowls, and return the pan back to pop the last of the kernels (this is a technique that I mastered with her expert assistance). Once the popcorn was popped and divided into the three bowls she generously poured butter and salt over each mound of popcorn. 
   
It still amazes me that I am still alive. 
   
This Sunday-night-popcorn-meal tradition has lasted for over two decades. Mom is no longer an educator and now I am. She taught me the value of knowledge and silently charged me to provide the best education that I can for my students. Now I need a quick meal on Sunday evenings. 

 
I have moved from popping popcorn in a pot (and using chemical spray butter-like product) to using an airpopper. I still use Yoder's Tiny Tender (I actually "import" it from Indiana) and now I add a bit of shredded cheese or popcorn seasoning. I have also integrated an apple into the Sunday night meal based upon a friend's family tradition of popcorn and apples. I noticed that my parents have kept popcorn night a tradition too, although they have moved to microwave popcorn. 

   
People have scoffed at this "meal", but those who protest are easily swayed with a single meal of Yoder's popcorn (e.g. Heather and Jennifer). Heather had never before had the pleasure of popcorn as a meal. Now, if for some reason we miss Sunday popcorn night she requests Monday be a make-up popcorn meal. 

All that to say that I have decided to break the 20+ year Sunday popcorn tradition for another one of my mother's made-up midwestern meals: strawberry shortcake. I might add that Heather had never had strawberry shortcake before me. You read that correctly. I am pleased to announce that Heather has easily made the transition from popcorn to strawberry shortcake. 

I officially declare this the summer of Sunday night strawberry shortcake! 

The Recipe.

This is very important: follow the recipe on the back of the Bisquick box. 

Only don't drop the batter onto a cookie sheet - place it in muffin tins. And buy local strawberries so that you can use minimal sugar to macerate the berries. 

Shameless PSU photo op

There is no angel food cake. None of those strange yellow cake cups encased in plastic next to the strawberries in the store (I can't even find the producer of those when I google it!). None of that red goo. 

Strawberry shortcake has to be made of Bisquick and macerated strawberries. And it has to be made in muffin tins. 

It can be made with the "heart healthy" Bisquick, and please do cut down on the sugar that goes on the strawberries....but don't follow the recipe on that box. Use the one here substituting the heart healthy Bisquick for the regular stuff. 

The Process. 

There is no process. This is shortcake out of a box. Mix it. Taste the batter. Taste the batter again to make sure it hasn't gone bad since the last spoonful. Bake it. Pour half a box of strawberries on it. Add milk to it if you wish. Eat it. 

Go back for seconds. 

The Future. 

Seasonal fruit will be used all year. When it is blueberry time blueberries and blueberry jam will be used. Peaches and nectarines will be used. Raspberries and raspberry jam will also be entertained. We might even consider using lemon curd. 

RELAUNCH

Sometimes people put a lot of thought into doing things. I am usually one of those people. 

This is not one of those cases. 

After very little thought I have decided to change the site of my blog. I have also decided to only write when I feel like it. I feel like it today. So after some editing and such you will have a new story on this site as an opening. 

The best of my stories may already be done. See "Mennonite Love".